


The Blue Cloak

by its_a_gift_you_keep_those



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arthur disguised as a commoner, Arthur wearing Merlin's clothes, Camelot, Canon Compliant, Fluff, Gwen as the best supporting character, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Merlin and Arthur's Relationship Development, Traveling, Uther Pendragon's A+ Parenting (Merlin), get ready for cuddles, not beta read because i was too anxious to not post everything i write immediately, post season 2 episode 2, the archive warning is there just in case it's not gonna be that graphic ig, there's gonna be some OCs too
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-15 23:49:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29941278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/its_a_gift_you_keep_those/pseuds/its_a_gift_you_keep_those
Summary: After a jousting tournament, Arthur is back to his royal duties. Both him and Merlin are bearing their own separate burdens and are slowly cracking under the pressure.After Gauis and Gwen catch up, they suggest both of them take a break, maybe go for a hunting trip.Merlin accepts, but with a catch; he wants Arthur to actually see the lands he will rule one day, and Arthur is equally as excited about it - so he disguises with a commoner's attire while him and Merlin take a trip around the whole Camelot, discovering all kinds of things, including how they feel about each other.***This whole story will probably be a part of a trilogy, in which I technically rewrite Merlin from S2EP2, after which this story takes place.As I haven't thought much ahead, tags, warnings and the work's rating might change.
Relationships: Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 17
Kudos: 47





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [radievx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/radievx/gifts).



"Up and-"

"Merlin, I swear, if you utter _one more word_ ," Arthur grumbled and turned, pulling the blankets closer to his skin. Merlin needn't have opened the windows in such a cold time of the year.

"We ought to get you dressed, my lord. You're going to participate in the council meeting, you cannot be late!" Merlin waited for a solid minute, sorting through the clothes he has prepared for Arthur to get him into. Arthur himself has pointed out that the meetings like these were important.

Without a warning, Merlin tugged on the sheets, and with strength suspiciously unlikely of a man with his frail frame, pulled shirtless Arthur out of his bed.

Not a single grumble of disproval. 

Just Arthur's rough but warm hands grabbing on to Merlin's arms for support to help himself up. 

And Arthur's lost, exhausted eyes, roaming around the room. 

"Are you alright?"

"Don't be ridiculous, Merlin," he scoffed, with that involuntarily fragile smile of his, the one he hid by turning away from Merlin, or the one he bore proudly only when Merlin was not looking (or when he thought he wasn't).

For a moment, it made his royal pratness less of a torment for Merlin. 

After he got him in his clothes, made sure his hair was permed and his breakfast at least partially eaten with Arthur's new habit of leaving a significant amount of food on the tray (even after the most exhausting training sessions), Merlin was sent off, as his duties never included a share of Arthur's torture sessions with his father.

To Arthur's great disappointment, too.

Listening on and on to his father and Leon and the councilmen, all the reports and numbers that were so distant and unimportant to him made him wish he could at least share that misery with somebody else.

Like he shared embarrassing discussions with his father over a hedonistic dinner with lady Morgana. 

At the moment, a man whose name Arthur could not remember at all was pointing at the map of Albion and was, as far as he could tell, talking about drought in the plains of Idirsholas, meanwhile Arthur tried to think of a good reason why every single time he thinks of Merlin, he cannot get him out of his head. 

Not being able to get him out of his head concerned him so badly that that thought on its own preserved in his mind quite some time after a small session of internal screaming and training filled with pure aggression-relief kicking.

Yes, Merlin was there with him from dawn till he fell asleep in his chambers.

Yes, Merlin was the first man Arthur considered a true, loyal friend he was ready to give his life for.

But, no, it made no sense and it was not alright for him to think of such silly things.

Like how Merlin would smile without shame.

Like how he would absentmindedly pick a flower while they would rest in the middle of a hunting trip. 

Like how gentle he was with animals.

None of it was something he realized he was doing, not until the point of contemplation in the moments like these, when his mind finds Merlin as the first and safest escape route out of his life burdened with the weight of Camelot's crown, even if it was just for a moment.

It did make sense that Arthur was upset by all of it. That much he could understand. 

But he had no clue as to why he stopped letting himself wander the streets of the lower town in the search of fun, why he didn't spend all of his time with the knights, either proving himself to the crowd of bystanders in the middle of a duel or practicing new swording techniques.

Arthur didn't change anything. There was nothing he could recall that he had done to cause such changes in himself.

It wasn't just now, he has been prone to fits of anger and panic like this one in the last couple of weeks. 

As if Arthur didn't really know who he was anymore.

* * *

Merlin's duties continued in Arthur's absence. 

He had to use the time Arthur spends sitting and doing nothing out of his chambers to get him new bedsheets, pillows, wash the floors, get the rest of dirty laundry to the washers, polish his boots and armor and probably a few more tasks until he can take a well deserved break.

This whole ordeal of waking Arthur up, cleaning after him, serving him food and leaving soon also got a bonus activity - putting Arthur to bed. 

More like, helping him change, chattering with him if he's up to it. 

If he thinks about it, Arthur has been more silent these days. Well, weeks. Usually, him talking about his whole day, his worries sometimes, takes up the whole time Merlin spends there before leaving. On a rare occasion, Arthur speaks no words at all. Not even dismissing Merlin, which results in Merlin staying there until Arthur turns his back to him, as a signal that it's time for Merlin to go rest.

These exceptions, however, became the rule. 

Arthur seemed to be much more distant. And Merlin would ignore it if there wasn't less jokes, less kicking him playfully, less everything that made them close in the first place.

Maybe he was just getting tired of everything, just like Merlin did - Gaius was often forcing him to eat nowadays, as he tends to just go to bed as soon as he's dismissed.

* * *

"I would, with your blessing, sire, hereby end this meeting," Gaius looked around at the other councilmen, most of whom were nodding their heads in exhaustion. It was already dark outside.

"By all means, do so, Gaius," Uther leaned in his throne and soon, all the men left the room in silence, with Gaius leaving the last.

Arthur remained seated in his chair by the throne.

"I hope you found this useful, son. You will hold a lot of these in your reign too," Uther looked at Arthur, who was staring at the map of Albion blankly.

If there was any sympathy left in Uther's heart, all of it was reserved for Arthur, some crumbs he always put aside for Morgana.

The King would safely say his son tested his patience quite more than he knew he was allowed.

"Arthur!" he banged on the table where Arthur's hands rest, now moving away, his eyes searching Uther's.

"I listened carefully, father," he said, trying not to convey a single trace of hostility, knowing it would not end well otherwise.

"Then you will be following the whole procedure the next meeting. You have to start practicing for the tournament too, the one in Deorham," Uther said, typically of him, without a moment of contemplation.

"Yes, father, of course," Arthur has gotten up from his chair and decided to vacate the room before he finds out if this is another one of Uther's good or bad days.

"Arthur, you don't speak of it as if you wanted to participate at all. Need I remind you of the other guests at that tournament? Your-"

"I know, I'm aware, now excuse me while I finally go to eat something," he scoffed, but felt the strong hand on his shoulder hold him in place, despite his obvious physical advantage over a king who hasn't had to lift a sword in years.

He turned around.

"Arthur, you better not waste your chances to stand proud over your defeated enemies. Camelot might be in danger any second, while you're slacking off," he hissed at him, to which Arthur didn't move a muscle, while on the inside, the storm of tremendous anger was unleashed.

"Yes, father," he said, waiting for the hand to move so he can go straight to bed, the hunger leaving too.

And just like that, he felt that emptiness again, seeping in slowly but surely, enveloping his heart. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys are finally gonna go have some good time, like they deserved :) Even though this was basically just a transition chapter, I hope you liked it and that you'll be patient with me as I will try updating near daily :3

Darkling Woods that spread out as far as his eyes could see outside the northern walls dimmed out the last bits of sunrays.

Merlin had finished every single task he'd been given, even the ones he hadn't been given. After he deemed the chambers clean enough for Arthur not to point out more things he needed to do, he left the room and headed down the corridor to fetch some food for Arthur.

When Merlin reached the kitchens, he wasn't surprised to see the plates with food neatly put on a tray. But, he was surprised though, when a pair of hands took the tray and picked it up, before he could even reach for it. When he looked up, Gwen was shaking her head at him. Before he could complain, she cut him off.

''I'm coming with you. I'm giving your prince a word or two,'' she pushed her way past him and out of the kitchen, where she waited impatiently for him to get going.

''Why? Has he said something to you? If so, I-''

''Merlin,'' she stopped Merlin's tired rumbling, ''look at yourself!'' Gwen put the tray with food aside, by a window.

Merlin took a moment to look at his hands, feet and clothing.

The pale skin of his palms wasn't visible at all with the dirt that mostly came from the ash he had cleaned around and inside the fireplace, some was actually dried blood from the cut he got while he was sharpening and cleaning Arthur's swords (yes, plural, because prince had to have a whole collection). Hi clothes were also dirty with the ashes, but the knees of his pants were almost torn with the friction gained as he had been scrubbing the floors until he could say it's clean enough. He couldn't see how his hair stuck out in all directions, how he was paler than usual.

''Arthur is doing it again, he's throwing every task he can think of on you and you're suspiciously quiet about it,'' she said, picking up the tray. Merlin followed right behind, until he was walking by her side. Gwen was right, he does usually find her in the corridors in the middle of their duties, just so he could chatter on and on about how much of a prat Arthur was, only to end it with a genuine smile - he never could hate his master, because none of his words, no matter how venomous they sounded, were said with bad intentions. Not even while he was chasing him around his chambers half naked, throwing everything that's close to his hands on his personal manservant.

_First friend Arthur had_ , Merlin thought. _First person below his rank to stand up to him and spite him._

''Merlin!'' she pushed him with her elbow. ''Have you been eating properly?''

The mightiest sorcerer to ever walk the Earth just stared at her for a second, before his brain could come up with a reasonable answer.

''It's fine,'' was the only thing he could say. But it wasn't quite alright, and Gwen showed that she knew that much with her stabbing stare.

''I'm alright, he's as demanding as ever, I guess I'm just finding it hard to catch up these days,'' was the next thing he said, and it might've been half-truth at best, but she could still smell the stench of a lie that was hiding his inner turmoil.

So Merlin sighed, and tried again.

''I'm worried about him, and I don't know why, but I'm also not able to sleep soundly at night,'' he said.

Gwen nodded, her brows furrowing in sympathy. ''It's been quite some time since I've seen you two run around the halls. Haven't really heard him yell for you to come to the chambers.''

_That's because I'm always there trying to figure out what his deal is_ , Merlin thought.

''I don't know. I just think it's been hard for me... and just as hard for him. He really has escaped death quite a few times,'' Merlin said, opening the door of Arthur's chambers for Gwen.

''Only thanks to you,'' Gwen smiled, putting the tray on Arthur's table next to all the piles of scrolls, and stood next to him to see that he was looking out the windows at nothing in particular. Merlin's eyes were lost in the darkness they stared at, and he didn't seem to be so thankful for the compliment that he has gotten.

''Maybe it is time for you to go visit your mother again. Maybe you could take Arthur too. If you wanted,'' she looked around the tidy chambers and eased a sigh, not to startle Merlin.

The young man's eyes made Gwen's breath hitch when they met hers. There always was something about Merlin that was hard to explain. She sometimes wondered if any of them truly knew who he really was. 

''I would like that. Thank you, Gwen,'' he smiled.

As she was leaving the room, peculiar tingling she couldn't hake off made hair on the back of her neck stand up.

She could swear she saw his eyes glow, more potently than the light of the candles.

When the door swung open, Merlin turned his head from the window to see Arthur barge in. He seemed to take a moment to take in just how clean the room was.

''Your dinner, my lord,'' Merlin said, offering a smile. As per usual, he received none in return. And, also, as per usual, Merlin didn't mind.

No words were exchanged while Arthur was eating the dinner. Merlin took the freshly washed and dried pants Arthur slept in and waited for him to finish his meal so he can take the tray back to the kitchen after Arthur is in bed.

''I assume you haven't had the most fun evening,'' he mumbled under his breath. He turned around when he realized he heard no clattering of the cutlery and the plates. 

Arthur either didn't hear that, or he didn't want to dignify it with an answer.

When the prince stood up from the table and gave up on the most of his food, he stepped behind his wooden divider. He took all of his clothes off, putting them on the top of the divider. He stepped out to take the pants from Merlin and put them on. Merlin's eyes tried desperately to meet his own, but Arthur avoided him as if he weren't there at all. He slid under the blanket and his chest deflated.

_If I ask him now, he won't answer. I should ask tomorrow when he's not as exhausted_ , Merlin thought.

* * *

Gaius smiled up at Merlin when he arrived.

''You've been quite busy today,'' he said. Merlin sat in front of him and picked up the spoon, knowing he will eat even though he wasn't hungry.

''I've cleaned everything there was to clean in Arthur's chambers,'' Merlin replied, staring at the stew. The fatigue was slowly catching up to him.

''You have fought a lot, both for Arthur and with him. Maybe you-''

''Gwen spoke to you, didn't she?'' Merlin smiled at the considerate words. 

Gaius smiled back. ''If you were my enemy, I would be scared,'' he said. ''She is right. You might be trying to chew more than you can swallow.''

''It's not that it's hard for me to keep working, it's more that I'm not sure who I'm working with or for, or whether on not it is going anywhere,'' Merlin sighed.

''Will you go with him? It could help,'' Gaius asked. H was eating and hoped Merlin would start too.

''I haven't asked him yet, but I do want to get away from... well, everything,'' he said under his breath. ''I know the whole destiny thing is unavoidable, but, just for a moment, I want to live for myself, you know? As much as I am allowed, that is,'' he added.

Gaius just nodded silently.

* * *

Merlin opened the curtains to let the sunlight in the room. 

''I'm awake,'' Arthur grumbled, sitting up with a nest of a hair Merlin could tell had knots he will spend some time working on.

''Morning, my lord,'' Merlin smiled, pointing at the breakfast on the table. ''I'd like to bring forth a suggestion if you please?''

''What?'' Arthur got up and let Merlin slide a shirt down on him. ''Go ahead?'' he added, confused by the courteous way Merlin was acting.

''Would you like to go on a hunting trip with me?'' When Arthur looked up, Merlin added, ''But not a regular hunting trip. How about...'' Merlin showed him the pile of clothes he has brought. ''...you go dressed as a common man, and I show you Landshire, Asgarath, Daobeth, De-''

''Wait,'' Arthur stopped enthusiastic Merlin, ''you want us to just travel around Camelot? What for?''

Merlin stood in front of him, ''I want you to see a bit of the lands you will rule. Meet the people. Get away from... whatever that was yesterday,'' he said.

Arthur seemed like he fully refrained from calling him an idiot. Instead, he actually considered the option, looking at the meal in front of him. 

''On a rare occasion, Merlin, your ideas don't always sound stupid,'' he said gently, again with that sly smile escaping involuntarily.

''You've been through tough times. But, now that things are peaceful, you should allow yourself a moment or two,'' Merlin replied, in the same manner, their eyes finally meeting as Arthur nodded. 

''Pack our bags and prepare our horses, then, we will go tomorrow at dawn,'' he said. Before Merlin was gone to pack their bags with all the clothes, blankets, food and water he could gather, Arthur stopped him.

''Merlin!'' he said, ''Does your hunting trip include any actual hunting?''

Merlin smiled his witful grin. 

''It does if you eat all the food, my lord.''


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Somehow I found it in myself to post another chapter, and another one should come soon :) My boys are getting angstier but trust me when I say it, it will get better (since I'm not a huge fan of angst either). 
> 
> Comment what you think, and if you want, tell me more on twitter (@semipereabilna)

After Merlin and Arthur started their journey (which Arthur has justified to his father as a hunting trip), their first stop had to be in the middle of the northern Darkling Woods, where Arthur was supposed to change into different clothing.

The whole point of Merlin dragging his chainmail and the rest of his kingly attire in a bag on his horse was so people don't recognize him as royalty.

Being recognized by the common people across the Camelot wouldn't really matter, but it could cause problems if bandits that lurked around saw the crown prince and grabbed him to exchange him for ransom.

''Our first stop will be the village of Willowdale, which is actually quite close, just out of the woods, between Darkling Woods and the mountains of Andor,'' Merlin said when Arthur was back on his horse after changing.

''They are Camelot's main supply of wool,'' Arthur said, smiling proudly.

''Cabbagehead,'' Merlin grumbled at Arthur's bragging and continued further ahead of him.

''What was that, _Mer_ lin? You're badmouthing a prince? You know that could easily get you in the dungeons for treason?'' Arthur chuckled when he saw Merlin look back at him and then just turn back to the road, ignoring him.

Arthur rarely ever passed villages when he was on his hunting trips. Sleeping in the woods, with a freshly baked, freshly caught fish was the real way a warrior should travel - independent from the townspeople and villagers.

But, as Merlin reckoned, if they wanted to circle around Camelot, they had to stop by the villages anyway; not just so Arthur could understand his people more, but also because he tends to eat much more when he's outside.

It was fairly warm while the sun was up, but it would probably be much colder once the sun sets. 

That's also why Merlin had to carry two bags full of blankets.

''If the village is closer to the mountains, it will take us at least half of a day to reach it,'' Arthur said, hoping Merlin won't stupidly ignore him the whole way there.

''It might take longer, maybe we could make a camp once the night falls and continue in the dawn,'' Merlin said.

''Aren't you just full of good ideas these days?'' Arthur teased, not getting any kind of reaction, which sort of disappointed him.

Merlin's tendencies to get all wise and not stupid were crucial to Arthur's confusion - a reason more for him to keep thinking about Merlin every chance he gets.

Like now, when it was too quiet for him not to do so.

His life was much more peaceful before Merlin came to the city of Camelot. But, don't get Arthur wrong, that was not necessarily a bad thing. What good were the townspeople that patronized him all the time, answered just as he would want them to, even let him win every game he played?

Before Merlin, before all the things he has gone through with him, he had no idea what his life could be. He had no idea that he didn't have to be the Arthur his father tried to raise to be a merciless ruler.

Then came Merlin, and all he thought he knew about himself and his life shattered right before his eyes.

And here he was now, traveling with only one servant, on a way to see the distant villages of Camelot. 

''It's getting colder out here,'' said Arthur while they were still making their way north.

''Oh is it, my lord?'' Merlin took his vest off and threw it at Arthur, who has just accepted it and put it on.

* * *

Once it's gotten dark, Merlin fed the horses and showed them to the closest stream, where he also drank some water before heading back to where Arthur waited for him to do everything.

When he arranged the wood so he can make fire, Arthur's hand grabbed his left one and he pulled it closer to himself. Merlin realized he was probably looking at the wrapped cut that was slightly reopened now, with blood seeping through a small makeshift bandage.

''Where did-''

Merlin pulled his hand back. ''It's fine. I cut myself while I was sharpening your swords, _two days ago_ , Arthur,'' he scoffed bitterly, and avoided Arthur's confused eyes. 

As soon as Arthur turned around, he used magic to ignite the fire. 

After they were done eating, Merlin felt his eyelids close on their own and put his blankets down so he could lay down and sleep, which he did as soon as he was done.

Arthur watched him fetch the blankets and make his small bed out of a single blanket he had. When Merlin wrapped himself in it, he reached for the bags to take his own, only to see that there were three more blankets Merlin left for him to use. 

So he took all of them, put them next to Merlin, took out the fire and covered Merlin with one of the blankets.

Merlin felt the weight being added on top of him and laid on his back, looking at Arthur, who had his hands on his shoulder, pulling the blanket closer to his neck. 

''Wha-''

''Shut up, Merlin,'' Arthur said with a sigh. He laid down next to him and left Merlin staring at him.

''Thank you,'' he said finally, when he suspected Arthur could have fallen asleep.

Arthur was, however, still awake. ''It's too cold for only one blanket,'' he said, turning on his side to face Merlin.

In the spirit of their previous minimalistic conversations, Merlin would rather not, but he still turned over to face Arthur. And when he saw him smiling in that gentle, warm, inviting nature, a lump was stuck in his throat. 

His whole body instantly warmed up. _He's finally calm_ , Merlin thought. _When he's like this, it's so much easier to be around him._

''Why aren't you sleeping?''

''I could ask you the same thing,'' Arthur asked, pulling his own blankets closer to his face.

Merlin rolled his eyes, ''Arthur, you've been avoiding me for days, so _I_ could ask _you_ a thing or two,'' he blurted, without doing much thinking about what he was saying. So when it hit him that he actually admitted to showing concern for Arthur (god forbid), he bit the inside of his cheeks. 

Arthur didn't hide his surprise. ''I have?''

''Yes, you have. I'd go as far as saying you're avoiding me, but I'm not sure your head has the capacity for that,'' Merlin teased slightly, but still tried to remain serious. 

_Might as well_ , he thought.

''I didn't mean to do so. I also thought you were the one who was in some way avoiding me,'' Arthur said. 

_Interesting. He didn't say anything about the insult_ , Merlin thought.

''For what reason would I want to avoid you? It takes vast effort to avoid such a royal prat,'' he replied. 

Arthur looked away.

_That's strange. No, that is really, really strange. Is he actually trying to speak to me normally right now?_ Merlin pondered.

''After the whole curse thing and that magician, and Cedric, I didn't-''

''But it's fine,'' Merlin interrupted him coldly. Maybe it wasn't fine, but Arthur had more important things to worry himself about than whether or not Merlin's feelings were hurt. Merlin didn't care about that, so neither should he.

''But it wasn't. And I want to apologize again,'' Arthur said, his sorrowful eyes trying to find Merlin in pitch dark.

Merlin was actually hard to render speechless, but at this very moment, he had no clue what he should say.

_To see him like this_ , Merlin thought, _should probably feel bad. But it doesn't. I almost want to smile, while he's looking at me like this. Like his sadness makes me happy. That probably makes me a horrible person._

''I am well aware of what I say and what I do, and how that... _affects_ you, so-''

Merlin's grin turned into a chuckle. A deep, raspy chuckle that made Arthur shiver. 

''No,'' Merlin whispered. Arthur could still not see his face. ''You are not. You have _no idea_.''

Merlin turned around, leaving Arthur to his own thoughts.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arthur and Merlin visit a village called Willowdale. 
> 
> I used the show-accurate map to make their whole journey a close-to-canon experience. Hopefully you'll like this, it's long, and it's just a beginning of their adventures :)

Before the dawn, sleepless Arthur decided to start his day slightly earlier while he waits on his manservant to wake up.

_I am happy to be your servant, till the day I die._

These words echoed through Arthur's head sometimes. 

Last night, what he felt when Merlin turned his back to him felt like the most bitter defeat. 

For real, now. Arthur tried harder every day. He changed the way he addresses him. He changed the way he looks at him. He was making an effort, yet, with Merlin, there was always a wall of stone standing there, between him and the rest of the world. 

And at the same time, an inviting hand. 

Another thing he could never understand - the duality of Merlin.

Merlin seemed to come closer at some moments, so close Arthur could feel their breaths merge and their heartbeats muffle one another out. He would come so close that Arthur could feel the warmth of his body. 

And at the very same time, he was always so distant, though not physically, but through the way his eyes could knock all the sense out of Arthur. He was so endlessly mysterious that it was terrifying. 

And his last words from last night. 

Cold, yet embracing. Like there was always something greater hiding behind them, a monster that killed by a mere touch. 

Then the prince realized he had been staring at his manservant for some time and that his stomach had a hole in it. 

* * *

Farmers of Willowdale collected what they have reaped, and as Merlin and Arthur approached the village, they could see how vast it really was, spreading across the whole plain in between on the forest and the mountains, with the most northern parts deep in the mountains themselves.

''Looks quite lively,'' Arthur said. He didn't expect the village to look like Camelot's lower town.

''Why don't we go for some mead, sire?'' Merlin suggested. 

''Can you _not_ call me sire?'' Arthur got off his horse to reach Merlin's bags, where he searched for the blue cloak Merlin had given to him when he was pretending to be a farmer during the jousting tournament, before he was almost killed by Odin's assassin. 

He pulled the neatly packed cloak out and wrapped himself in it. It smelled differently, but the smell was not revolting. What he found interesting was how calming that smell was for him. 

''You still have it?'' Merlin asked. ''I don't remember packing it.''

''I did,'' he replied, getting back on his horse. 

As they entered the village, Arthur noticed that they were perfectly blending in. Going down the central path that led to some sort of a market place. 

''Hello?'' Merlin called after two boys that were heading in the opposite direction from the market place, with some vegetables in their hands. 

As soon as the boys stopped walking, Merlin got off the horse and kneeled down to their level. ''Do you maybe know if there is any sort of tavern around here? Me and... my friend here,'' he almost let the truth slip, ''would like to stop by.''

''There is one on the other side of the market, sire,'' the taller kid said, staring in Merlin's pale blue eyes with sort of childish astonishment.

''Thank you!'' Merlin waved them goodbye as they walked past him and led his horse and Arthur towards it. 

''You really are terrible at keeping secrets, Merlin,'' Arthur rolled his eyes, to which Merlin replied with a cryptic ''Who knows'', leaving Arthur puzzled. 

* * *

''This mead is amazing!'' 

''Most of what you drink at Camelot is from here,'' Merlin could feel the heat in his cheeks getting him dizzier and was glad him and Arthur decided to stay a night. There was no way he was making it too far from the village like this. 

The tavern's first floor was filled with men who drank, a few that were arguing on topics Merlin had no concept of, and of course, dice gambling tables across the room, on the other side of the tavern.

''Meeeerliiiiin,'' groaned Arthur, sounding drunker than he was. ''Maybe we could go play dice with these gentlemen over there,'' he pointed at the gamblers, and the ones who cheered them on with cups of mead in their hands. 

Merlin wanted to say no, because he was gonna be piss drunk soon, especially if he keeps drinking, and he will, because Arthur is really persuasive, but instead, said yes. 

No matter how drunk he was, he still had magic. He just needed to make sure he doesn't reveal it to anyone.

''Then let's go!'' Arthur pulled at his arm until they where next to the tables. 

After a few rounds of clear wins, Merlin thought that he should let the opponent win a few times. That went on, and he wasn't getting suspicious, with how he balanced out the number of wins and losses.

Then, a rather strange man wanted to participate. His dark hood reached his nose, and Merlin wasn't sure what to make of it, but of course, he accepted. He didn't see why the man would want to gamble, seeing how the crowd started to love Merlin and hate him at the same time, because he ''had some luck''.

Then they threw the dices.

First time, he lost. 

Second time, he won.

Third time, he looked into the man's eyes that peaked from under the hood, and saw a tint of blue. 

_Of course_ , he thought. _Of course they would try to win against someone like me if they had magic._

So he let the man win a few times and withdrew once he got too exhausted to stand up. 

''What's wrong, _Mer_ lin? You are out of luck?'' Arthur wrapped his arm around his neck and ruffled his hair. 

''Stop, or I'll throw up all over you,'' Merlin threatened. 

In all the noise that the rising crowd made in the tavern, he looked up to try and find that man again. Maybe he should go and tell him to be more careful, since he was able to see right through it. No matter how far from Camelot the village was, he could win against a wrong man and end up killed.

''I'll be right back!'' Merlin said when he realized the man was just about to leave the tavern.

''Wait, where-''

''Just wait for me here, go drink some more mead, I'll be right back!'' he told Arthur as he headed for the door. Arthur could take care of himself for a few minutes.

When he reached the door, the person he was after was already on their way.

''Hey you!'' he yelled, trying to compose himself, not to sound like a threatening drunk. ''I just wanna talk for a second,'' he said. 

The person didn't stop walking, so he followed, and when he reached them, he wanted to put his hand on their shoulder to stop them, but instead pulled their hood off their head. 

To reveal that the person he was going after was, in fact a woman.

* * *

''So... Correct me if I am wrong, your brothers did this to you and now you want to pay to take the spell off?'' Merlin asked her while they were sitting on the steps of an already closed smithy.

The girl's name was Ridda. She was the only daughter in a family of four brothers. When their father died, they have taken the full responsibility of taking care of her, making sure nothing happens to her, because a girl like her could easily be attacked by anyone in the village. These things were probably worsened by the attacks of Cenred's men, who would occasionally go across the borders of Camelot. 

So, to help her, they actually used a spell which made her a man during the day, and she was a woman only by the night.

She left the tavern once she turned back into a woman.

And this is how she has been living for almost her whole life, because she was very young when the spell was cast.

''Yes,'' she sighed. ''They had the best of intentions, and I understand that, but I just want to stop turning into a man every morning. Even as a woman, I can defend myself. But to do that, I need that sorcerer to help me. But when I asked for the price, it turned out out to be five bags of coins, and I knew I could never make that much as a seamstress,'' she explained.

''So you paid for a smaller spell that made you get some luck so you can win it,'' Merlin smiled and she nodded, her black curls falling all over her forehead. Her fierce spirit reminded him of Guinevere.

''That way, I have made two bags worth of money. Please,'' she looked him in the eyes, ''don't tell anyone!''

''It's fine, I won't'' Merlin gave her a reassuring smile. ''I'm here as a part of a hunting trip with my friend, I'm not from here.''

''The drunk blonde one?'' she asked, since Arthur has been cheering for him all the while. She couldn't have missed that.

''Yeah, he's-'' Merlin stopped his still tipsy self from revealing that secret. Instead, he wanted to reveal one he could trust her with. ''actually, I think I know the other way to help you, so you don't have to gamble anymore,'' Merlin said.

Ridda stared at Merlin as if he were crazy. 

''I am a sorcerer myself, after all,'' he said it with ease, which made him feel all sorts of emotions. Being a day away from Camelot meant there were smaller chances he could get executed for being a sorcerer, let alone in a situation like this one, where revealing his secret could compromise Ridda's.

Merlin opened his left palm, a fire igniting on it. To stop it, he simply closed his palm. 

She was shocked only for a second, before looking around and getting closer to him. 

''Do you know how to undo the spell? I'll pay you with everything I have!'' she whisper-yelled, clearly ready to get on the ground to beg for his help.

''I might be able to, if I see the spell, and I don't want you to pay me a single coin,'' Merlin smiled, putting his hand on her arm. Her chest fell with an exasperated sigh of relief. 

''Thank you so much, Merlin,'' she smiled so brightly he was afraid she might cry too. ''But how will you get the spell?''

''That's where you'll help me. We need to find out if he was the one who put the spell in place too. I doubt he would claim to be able to do it otherwise. That sort of spell is quite strong,'' Merlin stood up. ''I've left my friend behind, so maybe we should meet in the morning, and you show me where he is, so I make him undo it.''

Ridda stood up too with a grin, ''Merlin, I don't know how to thank you enough,'' she said. But Merlin's genuinely modest smile made her worry less and less about whether or not Merlin has ulterior motives.

He just shook his head, ''That should have never happened to you. You didn't deserve to have your life planned out like that. Let's meet in front of the tavern in the morning. You can show me around then and we will make a plan.''

Ridda nodded. ''Deal. I'll see you tomorrow then, Merlin.'' 

Merlin waved to her as he ran back to the tavern.

That's where he found Arthur, who was drinking on his own.

''Let's go, Arthur,'' he said, taking Arthur's blue cloak and wrapping it around him.

''Mmm... Merlin?'' Arthur mumbled, standing up and leaning into Merlin's touch when his arm was wrapped around Merlin's waist to keep him walking straight.

He had no choice but to go and leave Arthur in a room they paid for to stay in, while he fed the horses and gave them water. 

When Merlin was back, Arthur was sitting in the bed, in the room Merlin has just realized was overpriced. 

The prince smiled when his eyes met Merlin's, his golden hair glowing in the poor lighting of the candles.

''Merlin is back,'' he mumbled.

''Yeah, yeah, we're not gonna do this now'' Merlin chuckled, getting Arthur another blanket, since the room didn't have a fireplace, and it was getting colder. He wrapped it around the prince and pushed him back on the bed, their eyes meeting. 

Arthur's smile as he put his hand over the one that was still on his shoulder, pushing him down, made Merlin lean in slightly. 

But once Arthur's eyes closed, he backed off. Guilt he felt whenever they were that close almost was strong enough to make him sleep on the floor, instead of sharing the bed with snoring Arthur.

* * *

With the first rays of sunshine, Merlin was ready to leave the tavern as soon as he sees Ridda approach it through the window.

He was sitting next to Arthur on the mattress and glanced at him every once in a while. If he wakes up, his plan goes to waste. He had written a note telling him he was gonna get back to the tavern when he is done with some important business, and that he should wait for him there. 

When the hooded figure approached the tavern, he regretted not being able to talk to Arthur about all of it. He wished there was a way he could tell Arthur who he really was from time to time. 

_Who am I kidding. I wish I could tell him all the time_ , he thought.

If there only was a way to kill two birds with one stone and tell Arthur without getting himself killed.

''I don't know how to thank you, Merlin. This life has been so hard for me,'' Ridda said when she saw Merlin, although she was now turned into a man. 

''Don't thank me yet,'' Merlin said. ''You know where the sorcerer lives?''

''Yes, it's in the outskirts, further in the mountains. Won't your friend mind you going off on your own?''

Merlin swallowed the lump in his throat. ''See, he's not supposed to know that I have magic. Both for mine and his own sake. I couldn't tell him about this, he's still asleep.''

Ridda decided not to question further and led the way to the sorcerer's hut.

''So, you live in the city of Camelot, within the walls of the fortress?''

''Yes, but I'm from Ealdor, the village that's on the border with Escetir,'' Merlin replied. He found Ridda's voice nice in her male form too. 

''Why can't your friend know why you have magic, Merlin?''

Merlin's smile fell slightly. ''One day I might tell him. But for now, it's too dangerous for me.''

''I understand. But you still speak dearly of him. Do you not trust him not to tell the king?'' 

''Well,'' Merlin bit his lip. ''I do trust him. But the problem I have is much more complicated. He still is very dear to me.''

''I see,'' Ridda said. His smile was exactly the same as the one Gwen gave him when he complained about Arthur.

When Merlin and Ridda reached the bosk that connected the village with its outskirts in the mountain, Merlin was constantly stopping to look around himself.

''I get the feeling we're being watched,'' he whispered, but they nonetheless continued on down the path. This part of the way reminded him of the Forest of Brechfa, where Arthur would usually go with him and the knights to hunt. It smelled of conifers, with the morning mist still descending from the mountains.

The sorcerer's hut was built from dirt and branches, its thatch roof making it seem much smaller. 

''What the hell are you doing?'' 

Both Merlin and Ridda jumped, still behind a huge tree they were hiding behind. 

_Arthur followed us. Great._

''Why did you follow me? And can't you see that we're hiding?! Keep your voice down!'' Merlin pulled Arthur down by his hands and looked at shocked Ridda who tried to catch his breath.

''I suppose you can explain why you sneaked-''

''Yes, yes I can,'' Merlin interrupted him, putting a finger to his lips to signal Arthur to keep it down. ''This is Ridda, and... well he is actually a girl, but that's a long story, we need to get a sorcerer living there to undo the spell,'' he explained in a rush. 

Arthur glanced at Ridda for a second and then again at Merlin, but figured he wouldn't be this grave if he was trying to mess with him. 

''You're crazy for going after a sorcerer unarmed, Merlin,'' Arthur shook his head, and even though he wanted to sound like he was angry with him, Merlin could tell he was just worried. 

_There I am again_ , Merlin thought. _He was worried and I feel happy about it._

''I have a plan,'' Merlin saw Arthur glance at Ridda once more before focusing on what Merlin was trying to say. 

* * *

It was simple. 

Arthur was supposed to act like he was there to arrest the sorcerer, which will distract him. Then, Merlin should get in through the window, and, unknown to Arthur, scare him with a few magic tricks of his own, so the sorcerer will be forced to reverse the spell.

With Ridda waiting hidden close to the hut, Arthur waited on Merlin's mark to knock on the door.

_Trust me, he said. Just believe in me for once, Arthur, he said. When have I not trusted you? You just make it harder for me to understand you_ , Arthur thought.

Merlin waved his hand behind the hut's wall. 

''Sorcerer! You are accused of treason and practice of magic, which are punishable by death by the laws of Camelot!'' Arthur barged in, but as soon as the door opened, he was pushed out of the hut by an invisible force, knocked out on the ground. 

Merlin didn't hesitate when he saw it play out. He conjured flames to ignite on his palms and stared down the sorcerer who stood in the middle of the room.

''You will reverse the spell you have cast and heal my friend you just hurt!'' he said, his eyes glowing.

He imagined the sorcerer to be much older, but he couldn't have been more than ten years older than him, dressed in a clothes someone of a royal status would wear. 

''Who are you to demand such things?'' he smirked, dismissive of the way Merlin stared him down.

''Do you not know?'' Merlin's flames disappeared and instead, a snake crawled its way up the sorcerer's body, wrapping itself around his torso and neck.

''Have you, perhaps, heard of... Emrys?'' Merlin stepped in front of the man, who now was screaming in agony, shocked by who was in front of him. 

Kneeling down in front of Merlin with tears in his eyes, he panted and gasped as the snake wrapped tighter around his neck.

''You think you could manage a spell like that?'' Merlin asked, flashing an arrogant grin.

''I'll do anything, please don't kill me, Emrys!'' he begged, and Merlin let the snake dissipate into thin air. 

The sorcerer immediately grabbed his spell book and Merlin called for Ridda to come in. 

She witnessed the whole ordeal and wasn't sure if she should be amazed, petrified or proud of Merlin. 

When the sorcerer reversed the spell and Ridda returned to her female form, she hugged Merlin so tightly he couldn't breathe for a moment. Arthur was fine, although unconscious, so he made the sorcerer use the best healing spell he had to help him wake up.

And as for Ridda's luck spell, he removed that one himself.

* * *

''Thank you. Both of you,'' Ridda said when Merlin and Arthur got on their horses. 

Everything was now much clearer to her, seeing how the other man treated Merlin, how he looked at him.

''I am glad I could help you,'' Merlin said. ''He won't bother you, or anyone else, anymore.''

Arthur was still dizzy, but he could connect what happened while he was out. Though he had no idea how Merlin actually managed to convince the sorcerer to do what he says. 

Ridda's smile was enough for Arthur not to question much. 

''If you happen to ever pass Andor again by chance, come say hi!'' she said before walking away, back to her home. 

_Of course Merlin couldn't let prince Arthur of Camelot know about his magic. Maybe one day_ , she thought.

Satisfied with how his heroic act ended, Merlin lead the way to the Plains of Idirsholas, which was on their way to the next stop: Landshire.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Arthur and Merlin fight their battles, they forget how easy things could be if they could just spill all of it right then and there. 
> 
> I guess none of us would be here if it were that simple.
> 
> Enjoy, and if you want to, leave some comments, let me know how you liked this episode of ''In the land of I don't know and a time of ''Shut up, Merlin!'', the destiny of a royal prat rests on the shoulders of a stupid warlock'' and thanks for reading!

Even though it probably didn't matter at all, Arthur couldn't stop thinking about him, _again_.

The thing was, Arthur was just fine with Merlin visiting the battlefields of his mind, he was just fine when his bright smile, embedded in Arthur's memory, came through the dark memories that he wished hadn't resurfaced.

And when the lights of the candles were out, in the complete darkness, Merlin's quiet words

_(Good night, Arthur)_

that shouldn't have meant anything to Arthur, made him wish they could stay a while. Just long enough for Arthur to hear him talk more in his deep, sleepy voice, long enough so he could toughen up and maybe come closer, close enough for their shoulders to touch.

''Arthur, we have to stop here, it's too cold to sleep in the mountains!'' 

That same Merlin Arthur was thinking about somehow, however, wasn't always the same Merlin he talked to. 

Like now, when Merlin was off his horse and was trying to stop Arthur's so they can sit down, make the fire and eat something.

Arthur slowly got off too, embarrassed about how many times Merlin could have called his name and he didn't even notice.

_What do I say, sorry I didn't hear you because I was thinking about you?_ Arthur thought.

Merlin seemed slightly upset, but his attention was soon overtaken by something else. 

When Arthur tried looking at the same direction, he saw nothing, so the both of them focused on collecting wood for the fire.

* * *

The winds spared them that night in the plains of Idirsholas. Although it was colder than Andor, it was bearable. 

When Merlin warmed up some food they still had wrapped in cloth, as soon as he sat down by his blanket bed, Arthur joined him by his side. 

''You still haven't explained why you were so eager to help a stranger. Not that I wouldn't have done so,'' he accepted a piece of bread Merlin put in his palms. 

''Well, I might be bad at retelling stories, but I can try, sire,'' Merlin stared at the fire as he bit off a piece of bread.

''Ridda's brothers are all hard workers, and each of them works on a different job in the fields. Three of them work as shepherds, and the rest are farmers. Since they are all working from the dawn till very late in the evening, they were worried when she was still little that she won't be safe, both because of townspeople and Cenred's men who...'' Merlin looked away from the fire to see if Arthur wanted something else to eat, realizing Arthur hasn't looked away for a second. 

Their eyes locked for a moment, and the moment spread to infinity when he tried to look away. 

''...well, they sometimes break the treaties and...'' Merlin's lips mimicked Arthur's smile as he tried to remember what he was talking about in the first place.

Arthur waited on him patiently to get the story somewhere where he could realize what it was all about, but Merlin looked away instead, chuckling when he couldn't stop smiling.

Ruffling of the bushes made Arthur reach for his sword immediately, pushing Merlin behind himself as he aimed the sword towards the source of noise.

An arm was raised and a young-looking man emerged from behind the bushes. 

''Don't mind me, for I wish you no harm,'' he said, coaxing them both into staring at him as if he was incredibly stupid for sneaking up on people.

Merlin wanted to say something to the man who just ruined a moment he could have utilized in some way, but held himself back from it when the man approached them and his whole figure was illuminated.

Merlin could see that Arthur put his sword down a little too fast, and worried it could be some sort of magic, but he felt no trace of it.

''I suppose you wouldn't mind me joining you? I am headed for the White mountains on foot,'' he requested, smirking at Arthur, who sat up, still holding his sword.

Merlin stared at the perfect way the fire's light made shades on the side of the man's face, his whole presence not at all intimidating. Moreover, he looked like he could be a knight of Camelot with his strong built.

''Are you unarmed?'' Arthur asked as he approached the man.

''If I do not appear trustworthy to you,'' he said, stepping closer to Arthur, until they were barely a step apart, ''why don't you check?''

Arthur clearly was disoriented by the man's striking charm, but he still kept the sword in his right hand as he searched the pockets of the man's pants and his belt. 

''Where did you say you were going?'' Arthur asked, putting his sword away as he came back to the place he's been sitting at. 

''I'm headed to the White mountains, to the Ridge of Landshire,'' the man said, sitting next to Arthur. 

As Merlin's chaotic thoughts tried to arrange themselves into something coherent, he could just stare at the mysterious man, reaching out mentally to feel for any trace of magic.

''Oh, how very rude of me!'' he exclaimed, putting his hand over his chest. ''I am Lord Gancanagh of Idirsholas,'' he introduced himself. 

Arthur jibbed; neither him or his idiot of a manservant have thought of what he would introduce himself as. 

''I'm Ar---tair,'' Arthur said, and as soon as he praised himself for coming up with a suitable variation of his name that would safely remove suspicion, he heard Merlin snort behind him. No matter how serious of a problem a small mistake could make, it was still hilarious to hear Arthur struggle like that.

Then he remembered that the man could as well be some kind of royalty, and rushed to add a ''my lord'' quietly.

Gancanagh chuckled wholeheartedly as he patted Arthur's back, ''No no, that is not needed!'' 

Arthur chuckled too with the man, relieved again. 

''Artair suits you well,'' Gancanagh said, looking at the fire as if he was showing off his perfect side profile.

_No. He is definitely showing off_ , Merlin thought. 

Arthur's eyes roamed the man's face, and when Gancanagh's green eyes stared back in Arthur's, the literal prince of Camelot swallowed a lump in his throat, looking away when his cheeks heated up.

''Are you also headed to Landshire, sir Artair?'' Gancanagh's hands tugged on the strings of Arthur's shirt and tied them as Arthur's palms got wet with sweat. ''You should be careful, it tends to get awfully cold out here at night,'' his alluring deep voice seemed to take Arthur's ability to speak.

Merlin thought it was the right time to say anything at all, with that stranger's hands all over his idiot of a lord.

''We are visiting Stonedown,'' Merlin replied. 

_I feel like the intruder here_ , he thought.

And Arthur? Arthur didn't think.

Arthur was besotted, and the way he didn't flinch at the closeness was starting to worry Merlin even more. Whatever that guy was doing, it was not gonna be simple to shake Arthur out of it. Merlin was starting to contemplate knocking him unconscious and doing pretty much the same thing he did to help Ridda. But even if this man was a sorcerer, he was strong, and it wouldn't be quite as simple.

Gancanagh took a flask out of a back pocket (in a pretty theatrical manner, if you ask Merlin), and offered Arthur a sip of ''the finest wine of Northern plains''.

''I cannot refuse an offer like that,'' Arthur said, and they shared the beverage. 

Before Gancanagh even offered it to Merlin, he declined, finishing his piece of bread. He was exhausted, but he wouldn't in the foulest mood leave Arthur alone, not even if he found out that Arthur's state had nothing to do with magic and everything to do with how handsome Gancanagh was.

''It is... delightful,'' Arthur mumbled, his back completely turned to Merlin.

''Isn't it?'' Gancanagh's voice reached the volume of a whisper. 

When their faces were alarmingly close, Merlin looked at the flames in front of them and made them rise to a frightening height. As soon as Arthur's attention was shifted to it, he reached for Merlin, pushing him back.

Which surprised both Merlin and Gancanagh, but soon the fire has calmed and Arthur moved his hands away from confused Merlin's chest.

''I could show you the way, if you're interested. I am a frequent guest of Stonedown's taverns,'' Gancanagh continued, as if nothing had happened.

That's where things took a drastic turn, and Merlin felt helpless on his own.

''That would be nice,'' Arthur replied. 

Gancanagh glanced at Merlin for a moment and before he knew it, he felt his eyelids droop, and, before he could stop it, he fell right asleep.

* * *

''Come on, Merlin,'' Arthur shook his shoulder. ''What is it that you say? ''Let's get 'em, lazy daisy''? We'll leave without you,'' Arthur chuckled, with Gancanagh joining in.

_Oh no_ , Merlin thought.

''What?'' Arthur turned around and chattered on with Gancanagh, as Merlin sat up, the blankets falling off his chest, along with the blue cloak on the top. He quickly packed his belongings and prepared his horse, catching up to Arthur and Gancanagh, who shared Arthur's horse.

That shouldn't have happened, Merlin thought, glad Arthur was still alive and still himself, even after a good night's sleep Merlin wished he could avoid, but was probably forced upon him.

So, whatever this man does to Arthur, it's not strong enough to completely enchant him. He barely has a hold on him. But it still seems to be working pretty well, with how freely Arthur talks to him.

_Unlike our talks, which never really go anywhere_ , Merlin thought.

But still, Merlin was on the ground when he fell asleep, yet he has awaken wrapped in the blankets. And the cloak. He wondered what was keeping Arthur so warm in the freezing cold morning. 

_Probably this cabbegahead's arms_ , he thought.

Or said out loud, he wasn't sure, and he didn't care, because Arthur probably wouldn't even notice if he fell right off his horse, or if bandits attacked th-

_Wait_ , Merlin thought. _What if there were bandits? Or, if he thought there are some?_ Like with fire, Gancanagh's enchantment or whatever he was using will come off, for a short while maybe, but long enough for Merlin to do something.

However, Merlin would have to listen to them talk a bit more before they reach a place that was suitable for the plan he had.

''Men or women, it makes no difference, right, Artair? You don't seem to mind much,'' Gancanagh cooed, and Arthur giggled like a maiden, nodding his head to everything he was saying.

_I cannot believe what I am forced to listen to_ , Merlin thought, wishing he was deaf for a second. He was rolling his eyes so much his head hurt and just hoped he gets to laugh at Arthur forever after it all ends.

Arthur leaned into Gancanagh's touch, arms wrapped around him keeping his torso warm. 

''What about archery? Has it ever interested you?'' Gancanagh asked, his breath brushing over Arthur's ear. 

And he gave short, indecipherable answers. ''I... I've never...You?'' 

If there was a thing Merlin could trust, it was the fact that Arthur cared. Maybe not as much as Merlin cared, not just for him, but for everyone, even the people he shouldn't care about. But Arthur cared enough to occasionally break free to make sure Merlin was fine. That was enough for Merlin to hope that his plan works out.

_Here you are again, Merlin. Arthur is enchanted, out of his mind because of a stupid love spell, and you still find time to complain about who cares about you. Pathetic._

A thud startled Gancanagh and Arthur, and when they turned around, they could see Merlin, with a stick coming out of his back, looking like an arrow that penetrated his chest.

''Merlin!'' he jumped off the horse and ran over to Merlin's motionless body. Arthur fell to the ground after a moment of hesitation and reached for the wound, blood painting his palm.

''No no no, Merlin, how did- Merlin?'' he saw the warlock open his eyes, and it was Arthur's time to fall asleep on the spot. Merlin caught his falling body and laid it down on the cold hard ground, standing up to face Gancanagh, who was already standing next to Merlin's horse.

''What are you?'' Merlin took out the branch he forced through his chest with ease and healed himself as quickly as he could.

Gancanagh reached out a hand. ''Oh my, let me-''

Merlin stopped him from coming any closer. ''What and who are you?''

Gancanagh smiled and nodded to himself ''Emrys. Of course. It is undoubtedly you,'' he crossed his arms. ''I won't disturb you or your prince if that is what you want. I meant what I said, no harm was-''

''Who are you?'' Merlin's eyes were glowing with fury, ready to tear the poor bastard apart if he doesn't cooperate.

''I am someone much older than you, but you are indeed someone much stronger than me, Emrys.'' He snickered down at Arthur, but quickly decided not to try his luck with Merlin and his current peak of power.

''I won't bother you anymore, I was just having fun,'' he added.

Merlin hasn't moved a muscle, ready to annihilate him if he makes a wrong move.

''Farewell, Emrys.''

And Gancanagh disappeared in the mist of the White mountains.

* * *

Merlin made sure the blankets wrapped around Arthur's whole body, including his feet and neck. 

In the whole rush, his powers were so drained when he healed himself that he wasn't able to wake Arthur up from the slumber he had put him into so he can take care of the situation which was, by any standards, getting out of control.

_I wish I didn't have to do this to you_ , he thought.

If there was a way to keep Arthur from knowing, but making him fully aware of how safe he made sure Arthur was all the time, Merlin would gladly try it. He thought he didn't care if Arthur gave his feelings a thought, if Arthur ever minded what Merlin felt like, but recently, he's been coming to terms that that might not be true. 

If destiny was something no being could choose, something unwritten, yet set in stone, Merlin hoped his own included seeing Arthur reach a day where he never has to worry if he's going to be harmed by magic, and he wished to be the one to show him what magic truly is.

Yet his only choice when Arthur wakes up will be to try and convince him that Gancanagh was a sorcerer, and that Merlin wasn't truly hurt, and to keep on lying.

He added more sticks to the fire and tried healing Arthur again, this time just barely feeling him wake up.

When Merlin gave up and decided he'll wait on Arthur to wake up on his own, he felt something touch his thigh.

Arthur was trying to share his blanket with him. '''rlin. 's cold,'' he murmured.

''Arthur? Are you alright?'' Merlin leaned over him and before he could say anything else, Arthur looked around.

''Wasn't there... A man?'' Arthur ran his fingers through his hair. ''Thought someone was here, probably dreamt of it.''

''What did you dream of?'' Merlin asked, his heart threatening to beat its way out of his chest.

''Some man was here, and then... nothing,'' Arthur replied and sat up slowly, holding back a groan when his head got dizzier.

''Won't you go to sleep, Merlin? It's getting late,'' Arthur asked.

And a whole day indeed had passed while Merlin was waiting on Arthur to wake up, so it did look like they have just headed to bed, like they were about to yesterday.

''You can tell me the story tomorrow, go to sleep,'' Arthur said, before closing his eyes again.

Just to go along with ''the orders'', Merlin quickly grabbed his blankets and lay next to Arthur, keeping a close eye to him. 

That being, Gancanagh, he might actually have had some fun, but Merlin has never gotten to this point in overthinking that he wasn't even sure what to say anymore. When Arthur wakes up, he won't mention it. But maybe it was time he faces the odds of his choices ending up with bad consequences in regards to him and Arthur. It was so silly, well, some could even say stupid, to think that, in certain moments Arthur might actually be showing that he does care in the end. That he actually makes Merlin work and clean and get him things that are literally right next to his hands for a reason that has nothing to do with making fun of Merlin. 

In disbelief, Merlin almost laughed out loud, relieved and glad that he was able to keep Arthur away from hating magic even more, trying to leave the rest of overthinking for the next day.

_If one day I die and you never get to know me for who I am, I might as well never have existed in the first place._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that Gancanagh's lore is most likely something you aren't familiar with, but I will explain in the next chapter (in a way), so if you still have questions in regards to that bit, lemme know ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our boys get some time away from trouble. 
> 
> Merlin meets someone new, and gets to see something new too :3
> 
> Enjoy, and check the notes if you want to, I put some explanations there. Comment if you wanna let me know how you liked this one ;)

As if nothing had happened, Arthur and Merlin continued their journey throughout the vast plains, headed to Landshire, where Stonedown laid.

Arthur was wrapped in the blue cloak and was riding in front of Merlin, so he could stare at Arthur and think about how relieved he is that they didn't have to talk about something Arthur couldn't remember.

* * *

That day, about noon, they reached the village of Stonedown. Merlin was immediately reminded of Ealdor and melancholic feeling of home sickness came over him.

''It reminds me of home,'' he said, with Arthur by his side as they walked towards the main road, their horses next to them.

Arthur stopped to ask a farmer to show him to a place where him and Merlin could find food, and soon they found a woman who kept chickens in her small yard, and she was willing to sell one already prepared for cooking to them.

They decided to make a camp close to the village, not to intrude on its particularly peaceful mood.

''I guess not everywhere we go we find trouble, huh?'' Arthur said, referring to the way they jumped from paying Willowdale a visit to getting rid of someone's curse.

Merlin was glad he didn't ask for the story to be continued, because, in retrospective, it was quite irresponsible of him to use magic right i front of him.

''Merlin?'' Arthur nudged his arm when he got no response. They were resting next to a huge tree's trunk while their horses grazed the grass.

''What? Oh, right,'' he replied, feeling Arthur's eyes burn his cheek.

He met his eyes.

''You're doing it again,'' Arthur said, shifting his gaze from Merlin's eyes to his lips and neck and back to his foggy eyes again. Eyes which looked like they wanted to say more than Merlin could possibly convey through words.

''Doing what, sire?'' Merlin asked, a hint of incredulousness making him sound like he was trying to mock Arthur.

''That!'' Arthur sat closer, almost reaching for Merlin's hand. It was close to his own, and it felt fitting for them to hold one another. ''That, Merlin. Are you doing alright?''

''I am doing just fine, I am the one who suggested going at the first place,'' Merlin replied.

Arthur's urge to simply let it go and let Merlin sort his own mind out died at the sight of a sad smile pulling at Merlin's lips.

''What's wrong with you? You don't have to ask such things. You have your own life to think about,'' Merlin asked, fiddling with a few strands of grass. 

Arthur was taken aback by such a direct response from someone he was trying to figure out these past few weeks.

''If my life were to be endangered, would you consider such a question a matter of my own well being?'' he requested, leaning back on the tree and expecting Merlin to do the same. 

Merlin froze. 

The impulse to punch Arthur and scream at Arthur, to show him everything, to tell him what he wants, it all died down all over again when he felt Arthur's fingers in his hair. Soon, he sat closer, his both hands playing with the hair on the back of his head.

When he stopped, he shifted back to resting against the tree's trunk. ''You just had some hay in your ha-''

Before Arthur could finish his sentence, Merlin pushed his bags on the side and got up, grabbing flasks from the bags. ''I'll... I'll go fetch some water.'' 

He walked away, trying to calm his heart so he can breathe without gasping for air, leaving Arthur confused as ever.

It wasn't before Merlin has found a well within the village that he realized what he has done and that it was too late to save the situation.

_He probably thinks that I hated that. I really didn't hate it._

But Merlin wasn't supposed to not hate it. Actually, it wasn't supposed to happen in the first place. Things were simple:

He is meant to be the one that helps secure Arthur's place on that throne in that huge room in the citadel. He was the one that also made a promise to the Great Dragon that he will free him one day. He was the one who stepped in the way of any person who tried to harm Arthur and prevent him from becoming Camelot's righteous king. Merlin was also the most powerful warlock in the existence, and he was the one to guide Arthur through the whole way of accepting magic as a part of his life and as an elemental force that cannot be annihilated. He was the one to make sure Arthur doesn't hate magic, although Merlin was more terrified at the idea of Arthur being scared of magic than just hating it. Hate might be strong, but fear leads to the worse decisions, fear can alter reality and it can shape a person and forever change them, obliterating their hopes of a lighter path.

Merlin was but a piece of destiny, its slave and its ultimate fulfiller.

He heard someone drop an empty bucket next to him. Since his flasks were full, he put them aside and turned around to help, but as soon as he looked at the woman who apparently dropped the bucket, he backed away slightly.

There was a prominent stench of magic.

She seemed to be more scared than Merlin though. And it was apparent when she whispered ''Emrys'' under her breath, her eyes wide.

''Don't be scared,'' Merlin reassured, picking her bucket up and giving it back to her. 

She just couldn't stop staring, her piercing blue eyes and ginger hair glowing in the sun.

''I am not here to hurt anyone,'' Merlin tried, and could notice her shoulders drop slightly. The better side of Merlin's magic was how the other creatures of magic treated him.

''I suppose. If you were, I would have already been dead,'' she smiled, helping herself to the well. ''I have long lost my ties with the Seelie court, yet somehow I heard the message of your travels to Andor and Idirsholas. You met Gancanagh, after all.''

''Or, rather,'' Merlin helped her with the bucket, pushing away the memory of the man, ''he met me. Are you a fairy?'' 

''Yes, but I haven't lived my truth for as long as I could.'' For a moment she revealed her ears, covered by her hair, letting Merlin see through the illusion of the spell she has covered herself in. ''I have been in Stonedown ever since the Great Purge, aging myself to appear human at times,'' she explained, getting the other bucket from the ground. Merlin also helped with that one too.

''I am Deilen, it is... an honor.'' She said, but carefully, so no one around her eavesdrops on their conversation.

''No, it's... It's fine, really.'' Merlin chuckled when they spilled a little when they got the bucket down on the ground again.

''No magical being of Albion is ignorant to your existence. I have only heard rumors, but... Is it true that you now reside within the fortress of Camelot?'' Deilen asked, picking the both buckets up. Or at least she attempted to do so, but Merlin offered a hand, taking one in the hand that wasn't holding the flasks. She didn't refuse the help, and Merlin guessed she still could have been slightly scared to do so.

''Let me help you, you just lead the way,'' Merlin said, letting the fairy who was perfectly disguised as a human. ''I am, for now.''

''Aren't you scared of the king's-''

''I am. That's why no one must know of my true self,'' Merlin sighed heavily as they carried the buckets to the houses that were closer to the center of the village. 

''Gancanagh is a fay. He might have startled you with his... flamboyant nature,'' she giggled. ''He hasn't been inside Camelot's borders for quite some time. Although he had never harmed a soul, he... well, has his own ways to have fun,'' she explained. 

Blood rushed to Merlin's cheeks. ''I could see that. I believe that one day all beings of magic will live in peace in Camelot.''

''I wish for that too.'' Her gentle voice fell suddenly. ''Hiding your true self... I have been nothing but a coward for the past decades. If one day I can roam Camelot freely, I'll know to thank you, Emrys.''

''It's Merlin,'' he offered her a grin. ''That's what I am known as. My other true self.''

When Deilen was too scared to ask what he meant, but he anticipated a question.

''I am Merlin as much as I am Emrys. I am both, though I'm afraid at times I might become something entirely different. Have you ever felt this way?'' He asked, putting the bucket next to the one she put down in front of a doorstep. He was just now hearing himself, listening to his honest words, and guessed that they were inspired by how he acted a few moments ago when he thought about Arthur and Arthur got too close for Merlin's good.

''I...I am not sure. I don't think so,'' Deilen wiped her hands on her apron. ''but I am sorry to know you suffer with such a burden.''

''It really isn't that hard. Sometimes, like now, it just scares me how much power there could be within,'' he gestured all over himself, ''all of this.''

Deilen smiled, her hair flowing with the breeze. ''Thank you for helping me. And for everything you will have done,'' she said, and Merlin waved her goodbye, but she stopped herself for a moment. 

''Wait! I must give you something!'' she ran inside her cottage and as Merlin tried to explain that there is no need for her to go out her way, she came back with a small barrel. 

''Please take it. It is mead I have made myself,'' she offered, but flustered Merlin tried to refuse politely, feeling way too bad about taking anything from her. She was also afraid of him a few minutes ago.

''Please,'' she came closer, placing the barrel in Merlin's free hand, ''it is not regular mead. I add some Mandrake root for a better effect.'' 

Merlin looked at the barrel and at her, groaning when the offer just appeared to be even more tempting. ''I cannot refuse it then. Thank you.''

Merlin headed back to their camping spot, only to find Arthur chasing after his horse in circles. It almost looked like he mocked him.

* * *

That night, next to a small fire they have made, Merlin decided to introduce Arthur to the barrel of mead, without, of course, telling him about the special ingredient.

''What is that? When did you get it?'' Arthur asked, setting a small bowl in which Merlin made some soup aside.

''I helped a young lady with her bucket by the well and she has gifted me with some mead,'' he said proudly.

Arthur laughed at the way Merlin presented it. 

''It is just some mead, Merlin,'' he exclaimed, but as soon as he had taken a sip out of the barrel, he hummed in approval. ''It is exceptional!''

''Exceptional enough for your royal taste?'' Merlin took the barrel and took a sip himself, almost choking on it. ''Wow, it really is.''

''That lady must have really liked you,'' Arthur murmured, looking up at the stars. 

Merlin thought it was a convenient way for Arthur to say how he thought Merlin was charming. Not like he would ever confess it.

''Do you already have duties waiting for you at home?'' Merlin asked, settling himself next to Arthur when he put away their bowls.

''I suppose.'' Arthur almost asked Merlin if he has some too, like a conversation master he was, until he reminded himself that Merlin was a servant.

''You haven't just been avoiding me, you've been... distant.'' Merlin spilled the words with the ease disproportionate to the time he has spent thinking about it. That mead was definitely helping.

''I'm sorry,'' Arthur said, like it was a regular thing for a crown prince to say to his manservant. 

Merlin decided not to panic. 

Arthur took a few more sips. ''While I have felt what it is like to be in your shoes, you will never know what it's like to be in mine,'' he said, looking up again like he was searching for something among the stars in the night sky.

''Yeah,'' Merlin replied.

_I wish you could see what I do for you_ , he thought. 

''I understand that it looks terrifying, your future,'' Merlin continued, accepting the offered barrel to take a sip or two too, ''but you shall never doubt how great of a king you will become one day.''

Arthur chuckled, leaning closer to Merlin. ''Thank you.''

''Oh, a 'sorry' and a 'thank you', all in a same night? Are you sure you're alright, _my lord?_ '' Merlin faced him, as their shoulders touched in their proximity.

''I don't know, Merlin. I might be running a fever?'' Arthur smirked, and, if he doesn't stop being this charming and personable and handsome Merlin's heart might start beating so loudly Arthur would hear him over the distant buzz of the village and the chirping of the crickets.

''You could check on it,'' Arthur hinted. 

Merlin's eyes haven't left the comfort of Arthur's as his hand cupped his cheek.

Arthur did warm up a little. ''You... You might be.'' 

Arthur left his side, put the fire out and searched for the blankets. Since Merlin was much closer to their bags, he took the blankets out and laid them next to each other. 

As soon as Arthur was wrapped in his blankets, still wearing the blue cloak underneath them all, Merlin lay down beside him. 

The width of Arthur's shoulders as he laid on the side, like he was sheltering Merlin from the wilderness of the woods further behind him made Merlin lean in this time. 

''You, Merlin, are a mystery,'' Arthur mumbled, staring at their hands and how close they were from touching. 

''Am I not an open book?'' Merlin asked, seeing the Mandrake root from Deilen's mead blur Arthur's eyes as they tried to focus on anything on Merlin.

Moments like these, full of intimacy Merlin never could even guess he needed, were something he wanted to cherish, even though they were not supposed to happen. It was at moments like these, when Arthur gave him so much comfort that he realized how scared he actually was. 

''Sometimes. And sometimes I'm not even sure I know you,'' Arthur confessed, not visibly surprised of his own courage. Merlin was now getting annoyed, because it looked more like Arthur's arrogance speaking than Mandrake.

_Of course he acts all mighty and whatnot. Why would he ever humiliate himself in front of the likes of me?_ Merlin sunk deeper in his thoughts, looking away from Arthur.

Then, a warm hand was placed on Merlin's shoulder, and he was suddenly pulled closely to the other man's chest. 

_Arthur. Me and Arthur are hugging. This thing must be strong_ , he thought, smiling to himself as he could hear Arthur let out a sigh, like he did usually before falling asleep after an exhausting day.

When Merlin tried looking up, he realized Arthur's chin was pocking the top of his head. 

If he could smile wider, he did. 

No words spoken, and none needed. Arthur was drunk, and Merlin was intoxicated enough to let him keep his hand on his shoulder. 

But Merlin couldn't fall asleep, no matter how hard he tried. Something about listening to Arthur's breathing patterns and the faint sound of his heartbeats was so upsettingly moving to Merlin.

Arthur being so alive, so calm. So _important_ to Merlin. 

* * *

Merlin wasn't sure what it was that woke him up in the first place. It could have been anything - Arthur's sobbing, chirping of the early morning birds that sang before the sun has even risen or the crowing of the village roosters.

His prince sat there, away from the blankets, wrapped in the blue cloak. He sobbed and gasped for air and tried to be quiet and silence himself. Merlin could still hear him and hear his own heart break.

If only it were so simple to reach out and comb through his golden hair and tell him to go back to sleep like it wasn't the first time he has seen Arthur wake up crying (and it wasn't).

_But, it is_ , Merlin thought and just went with that.

Arthur, as he always, wasn't aware of his surrounds when he was like this.

''Go back to sleep, Arthur,'' Merlin whispered, and watched as Arthur guided himself through the veil of sleep, back to his makeshift bed, where he just continued sleeping.

He has gotten so far, so why would Merlin stop? He gently rubbed Arthur's back, now actually unable to go back to sleep. He glowered at the golden hair, cursing whatever caused Arthur's sleepwalk crying. 

Merlin never knew what these nightmares were about, but he has seen quite a lot of them. He also never dared mention them to Arthur, not to strike a nerve.

It's not like sober Arthur would ever even confess to having nightmares in the first place if he remembered those. He would never get that far with Merlin without alcohol or an enchantment, not even when they faced death together.

When Merlin stopped risking his life for Arthur because he was told to, and started doing it because he simply wanted to, the whole paradigm of Arthur's role, not in the so called destiny, but in Merlin's life completely shifted.

As the tears dried off Arthur's cheeks, however, Merlin had to remove his hands and hope Arthur doesn't regret the whole last night. 

Whether or not Arthur remembered it all in the morning, he gave no indication whatsoever. 

They just packed and were soon on their way to Brechfa, and, eventually, Ealdor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gancanagh is indeed a fay, with origins in Celtic and Welsh lore; handsome guy who seduced both men and women, and usually was harmless. 
> 
> Deilen doesn't really exist in lore, I made her up :3 Her name is actually Welsh for the word ''leaf''.
> 
> Mandrake root was usually used as poison, but in smaller doses, it's basically an opium.


End file.
